It’s getting to be kind of weird to be naked around my kids. Especially the 4 year old. I remember the first time he was intrigued by my...lady parts. He pointed at it and said What’s that, Mama? And I, being a totally mature adult about it, threw a towel around myself and told him it was mine. (I put a few extra bucks in his ‘therapy’ piggy bank that day.) Taking a shower with no interruptions is a luxury around these parts. Imagine that you are taking a hot, steamy shower, standing quietly by yourself for 58 seconds and then BAM! The door is thrown open and a short person walks in with a flashlight and starts questioning your stretch marks and demands a play by play of your shower activity. Need to go to the bathroom? Just keep the door open; that way you won’t have to wobble over to open it when you reluctantly give in to the pounding and screaming outside the door. Children have no boundaries when it comes to nudity; your body is their body. They poke, pinch, pull, touch anything they want at any time. If you do not have children, next time you see a mother out and about with her little ones, watch closely. I guarantee you Mama will be pushing hands away, pulling her shirt up, and asking her kids to please stop pulling her pants down.
They also, of course, are curious about each other’s bodies. Which is awesome and totally not uncomfortable at all. Why is it so funny to try and touch your brother’s penis? No, your sister does not have two butts, that one is called a vagina. THESE ARE WORDS THAT COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. REGULARLY. Vagina. Penis. Vagina. Penis. No, please, keep reading. I’ll stop. (I mean, you don’t want your kids to grow up saying whoo-ha and wee wee, right? At some point, they need to know what it’s called.)
Lately I have been attempting to create some boundaries with my son. If the door is closed, that means please knock. If it is locked, that means Mama is crying and would prefer to be alone. But it’s just so inconvenient to try and NOT be naked around your kids; multitasking will involve walking around with only undies on. Which I know really turns some people on. They will PAY MONEY for this kind of activity in their own homes. Turns out, all they need to do is get married and have babies and there will be all kinds of nekkid time! But note to self: discuss salary with Husband ASAP.